5 Signs That Tell You He's The One
At the end of the day, even with success sitting on our laps, if we have no one to share that success with, our lives are ultimately empty. A saying, albeit overused and mistranslated several times, says “No man is an island,” and it’s true to an extent. While some of us (especially introverts) prefer solitude for most of our lives, our human nature still leads us to one undeniable fact at the end of the day.
And it is that we still crave another human presence.
That’s why couples come together and create families. And that’s why romantic love and marriage have been heavily embedded into our culture that the act of coming together with the right person has been given a time limit. If you’re a person that has been pressured by family and friends, don’t make the mistake of marrying someone who isn’t The One. And how would you know if he is? Read on to find out if he shows the correct signs.
1. He Respects Your Alone Time
It’s not a bad thing to have differences between couples. In fact, having separate hobbies and friends can contribute to far better growth than sharing a circle of people or sharing the same interests. Sure, it can be fun to play video games with your partner or hang out with his friends, which are yours too, but it can diminish time alone for yourself, which you can use to recharge your battery. Having separate hobbies can encourage growth within yourself.
Many young couples around the world have placed importance on spending every moment with each other. However, what goes beyond their understanding is the possibility of toxic conflict that can spring up from an unhealthy amount of time spent around one another. One sign of maturity and respect (which can indicate he’s the one) is his agreement to have alone time separately. This means he sees the value and importance of being with yourself for a while.
Another value that can grow from having separate hobbies is trust. He knows full well what can happen if he isn’t around, but he trusts you and your values so much that your alone time doesn’t scare him. One sign a partner may not agree to this is their own insecurity that you’ll cheat behind their back when they aren’t on surveillance. However, this mindset is not only toxic but also a red flag that he isn’t the one for you. Choose someone who thinks otherwise.
2. He Has The Same Values As You
Values and hobbies are different. Therefore, unlike the latter, the former should match between the two of you. This means his values on spirituality, family, morality, personal growth, and health should align with yours. These are fundamental things that shouldn't be a source of conflict between the two of you, or it will give your relationships a lot of fights, from the biggest to the most little things imaginable.
One key to knowing if he shares the same thoughts and ideas as you are an open, honest conversation about morality, family, life views, etc. You should also see if the both of you share the same money and life goals, as this will be the heaviest and most meaningful aim the both of you will work on into the future. If he aspires to have a simple life, with a 9-5 job while you want something greater than being a mother and a housewife, it will cause a rift in the relationship.
However, this does not mean the end of the bond you formed with him. Just like every problem, this one can also be sat down and talked about civilly. It will end with a compromise, whether on your side or his. Just make sure the decision won’t create regrets that might turn bitter in the future. That’s the importance of having a kindred soul as a partner when embarking on married life.
The most important thing when it comes to values is the fact both of you should be on the same page in everything. With that, there won’t be misunderstanding or miscommunication happening between the two of you, as he is willing to talk and speak about it, just as you are willing to express your thoughts to him.
3. He’s Willing To Fight With You, Not Against You
Don’t get us wrong, being with your fated one doesn’t mean a fight won’t resurface in the duration of your relationship. It just means he is mature enough to handle the conflict without worsening it with toxic habits, such as silent treatment, passive-aggressive behaviors, or outright bullying you into submission. Contrary to what the movies and society have shown us, there are many ways to have a healthy conflict that is neither toxic nor harmful to either side.
The first step is the peaceful way of talking about the conflict, whatever it is. Dramatic raising of the voice or unnecessary crying and exploding anger will only serve to either make the opposite party guilty and compromise or anger them further. Since both of you are mature enough, with personal relationships and jobs, it's only proper to handle the conflict like the adults as well. However, if talking doesn't work, it's always ideal to consult a counselor for couples.
The next step is to put the words into action. Whether it's a promise to help with the dishes or do the laundry, the man destined for you won't give you such a hard time. He'll understand your side as you will his, and the both of you can grant with each other's requests as long as they are reasonable and understandable.
He won't try to go against your boundaries or try to talk you out of them. He also appreciates feedback from you (as long as you give him proper criticism without being unnecessarily harsh) as he knows you only mean well for him. He's a man that works with you and for you to make you a better person, just as you build him up to be a better version of himself too.
4. He Appreciates Your Outer Beauty, Too
The right man will love you for who you are and who you can be, but it doesn't just end there. Although a lot of things rely heavily on understanding, faithfulness, trust, and love, physical intimacy has its own importance as well. It's great to be praised for our inner beauty, but so is being praised for being attractive even if, to you, you look and feel far from being attractive. These kinds of compliments can boost your self-confidence and self-love as well.
As far as love is expressed, sex can be the closest and most tangible expression there is. Making love can give you a sense of security and closeness with your partner, and if both of you feel that chemistry for each other, it's a thousand times better than lying with someone you don't love or being with someone that doesn't thrive in physical contact.
One sign would be your own personal longing for him, especially if the both of you were separated during this pandemic. Have you been aching to hold him close or for him to hold you securely in his arms? Does waiting for him in the airport make you so ansty that you rush into his arms at first sight? He might just be the one for you if you miss him all that much, especially if he reciprocates the sentiment and longing for you twice as much too!
5. He Is Kind To You, Always
Kindness has been deemed overrated by today's standard that any and all act seems very fishy and superficial. However, when you're with the one, he'll know the ultimate combination of a great partner should be someone who respects, listens and treats you with kindness. For him, kindness isn't overrated but essential when he's dealing with you in any situation.
Had a fight with him? He'll still do the laundry and make you breakfast the next day. Had a rough week at work or overfatigued with the kids? He'll be there to ease the tension off of you while taking over your tasks for the day. These acts of kindness aren't just fueled because he's a gentleman, but because he loves you enough to see beyond your anger and your tiredness and finds understanding in order to handle you, too.
The Bottom Line
Because he loves you, he’ll support you through your rough losses and great wins. He’ll support your dreams, whether it be to have a career or have a family with him. One of the most important elements in a successful relationship is someone that won’t abandon ship the moment the tides get rough. Someone that will hold your hand through the storm and make you believe there is someone that will stay with you until you grow old of age.
However, to meet the one, you should also consider being the one for that person. Work on yourself, exercise kindness and patience and always think about what someone like your destined one would deserve in a partner. After all, he won't show up as long as you aren't ready yet.